There are a million ways to flaunt your ascendance, with names that spark visions of luxury when uttered when living the good life, easy street, etc. Gucci. Mercedez-Benz. Rolex. And of course, Vitamix. This goes double when it comes to the Vitamix Ascent Series line of blenders.
Unlike an overpriced handbag with a tacky logo on it, or a crummy watch, Vitamix Ascent blenders are actually worth the investment. Let’s take a deep dive into just why investing in the champagne of blenders is a smart move.
Vitamix Ascent blender specifications
- Series: Ascent
- Dimensions: 11 x 8 x 17 in
- HP: 2.2-peak
- Electrical Ratings:120 V, 50-60 Hz, 12 Amps
- Weight: 11.86 lbs
- Cord: 4 ft
- Use: Household
Vitamix has made a name for itself as a powerhouse blender. It does what any basic bar blender does, but better and with more ease. You can go ahead and try crushing nuts into butter or ice into snow in a department store blender purchased for under $100. And you will have my most fervent thoughts and prayers for your success. But they won’t help you. Not only will you have a mess, you may even fry your blender’s weak motor.
Anyone even vaguely familiar with the name Vitamix knows of the blender’s unmatched power. The Vitamix Ascent series line of blenders is an upgrade of its usual Legacy and Explorian series blenders. Here are a few features that come with this line of blenders, specifically, the Vitamix Ascent 3300:
- Touch Start/Stop: Instead of buttons and triggers, you control the Vitamix Ascent blender series using a sleek-looking touchscreen.
- SELF-DETECT Technology: The Ascent series can recognize what size and type of blender is placed on the dock, and adjusts speeds and blending performance accordingly.
- Touch Pulse: Pulse with the click of a touch screen.
- 1-10 Speed Dial: Whether you’re running the blender on a loop or pulsing your way through a recipe, you can choose between ten variable speed settings.
- Touch Programmable Timer: Run your Vitamix hands-free, programming it to run for a specific amount of time for any given recipe.
It’s quite a mouthful for a simple blender. But you are getting what you pay for, with costs ranging from $399.95 to $549.95, depending on the bells and whistles you want in your Vitamix Ascent Series blender.
Vitamix Ascent blender review: Is it worth it?
I’ve been pretty familiar with Vitamix ever since I saw a live demonstration at the California State Fair in my early teens. While fellow youths were bragging about seeing The Strokes or Blink 182 live, my formative experience was watching ice get crushed into powder with a bunch of other gawking spectators, our mouths agape in awe, shirts covered in powdered sugar and carnival grease. Alas, my mother scoffed at the price when I asked if she’d buy it for me as an early birthday gift.
“Your brains are made of rice pudding if you think I’m dropping that kind of cash on your birthday present. No dice, compadre,” she said, unapologetically. But I never forgot my Vitamix experience, and a little more than a decade later, I spent about half of my paycheck on one of Vitamix’s most modest offerings.
Modest as it was, it served me well for years, and is actually still in perfect working order. I even invested in more blender carafes, including the Aer, which is one I always break out to stun guests and entrance enemies. I will say, however, that I knew I’d upgraded after switching the new blender on. The digital touchscreen flashed on and animated the Vitamix logo. Maybe I’m charmed too easily with LED screens, but it rendered a high pitch squeal out of me that could only be heard by certain dogs.
Vitamix prides itself on using its blenders as a means of coasting into a healthy lifestyle. After all, it pulverizes fruits and veggies into smooth drinks that don’t waste anything, much like a stand-alone juicer does. And then there’s the nut butter. I’m positive the prospect of homemade almond butter has been the motivating factor in countless consumers breaking down to buy one. Fresh juice and spreadable nuts are only the beginning of what’s possible with the Vitamix Ascent blender series. Here’s a look at what I made over the course of a week.
Goodies I made with the Vitamix Ascent Blender
- Cherry sorbet: Frozen fruit stands no chance against Vitamix blades. While many recipes call for adding ice or water, using any amount of frozen fruit, plus half the amount of simple syrup renders a perfect treat. It’s not just tasty sorbet, it’s also thick enough to be scoopable.
- Jalapeno hummus: I’d bet money–I mean, real money–that 90 percent or more of all homemade hummus (in the US at least) isn’t worth eating. The trick to spreadable chickpeas you actually want to eat is pulverizing them for upwards of six minutes. It’s the only way to render the kind of factory-made smoothness we’re after. The built-in timer made this the easiest hummus I ever made. It was also the tastiest.
- Chocolate hazelnut spread: Nutella sucks. Someone has to say it! It’s too sweet and a typical serving has more calories than a slice of cheesecake. Homemade versions of this spread suffer from the same crux as hummus recipes: no blender grinds these things smooth enough. The Vitamix Ascent series made quick work of the hazelnuts and the bittersweet chocolate. What came out was a spread that was smooth and not half as sickly sweet as the French stuff. Spread it on some toast and sprinkle with flaky salt for an S-Tier snack.
- Garlic and herb pita bread: Using the pulse function, Vitamix kneads bread dough quicker than a stand-mixer ever did. This pita bread came together in minutes after weighing the ingredients out on a scale, starting with the wet. After a brief rise, the dough was cooked on the stove, and slathered with butter and toppings. Excellent for out of hand eating or, say, dipping into hummus.
- This is not a Starbucks Coffee: The Aer blender doesn’t come standard with the Vitamix Ascent blender series, but it’s worth investing in if you like the idea of whipping non-fat milk into luscious foams. A little ice, espresso, and 20 seconds of whipping time, and you can treat yourself to a four dollar latte for pennies, and without having to brave leaving the house.
The Final Verdict
I touched on all manner of fancy stuff you can sink money into in the intro of this Vitamix Ascent blender review. Handbags, luxury watches, and even cars all either go out of style or worse, break down. Their usefulness is fleeting. The happiness they bring is temporary, reminding you just how frail life can be (not to mention the dent they leave in your bank account).
I fell in love with Vitamix ages ago, and I’m happy to say the romance hasn’t faded one bit. If anything, it’s gotten stronger with age. And while my legacy series blender did some heavy lifting for years, the Vitamix Ascent blender may just be one of those forever appliances, like a good knife or a stand mixer. It does what every other blender wishes it could do, and it’s as reliable as a dang Volvo. Yes, it’s expensive, but it’s the sort of tool that will serve you for years, if not decades, to come.
Still, I understand that the $449 price tag is a little steep. Fine, fine. Here are a few things to consider if you’re still thinking about investing in a Vitamix.
- If you want to save on a blender with less frills, the Vitamix 5200 Legacy blender is only $399.99. It doesn’t have the sexy digital display, but it will still pulverize just about anything you toss inside.
- The two must-have accessories, in my humblest of opinions, are the blender and bowl cup attachment. It’s great for when you’re looking to blend smaller amounts, or spinning together a personal shake or Jamba Juice thick smoothie. The Aer blender not only whips everything from non-fat milk to heavy cream, it also muddles cocktails and makes hollandaise in seconds.
The Vitamix Ascent A3300 Blender is available on Amazon for $449.
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